Complete Can't Sleep Ramblings

Recently as an unemployed citizen of the United States I have been seeking out some human interaction in more places than before. When I was working up in New Hampshire, I was surrounded by human beings all day everyday, so when I finally got home late at night I typically just wanted to go to my gym by myself, and not say a word to anybody; though I did have a “woman crush” on the girl at the front desk. She looked really cool and was really nice, and I secretly really wanted to be her friend. I think Brian even once encouraged me to ask her out to hang out, but I couldn’t come up with a non awkward way to do that. “Hey there, I think you have really nice feminine arm muscles, you look bad to the bone, but yet have this unique friendliness about you. Would you like to go out for a spot of tea?” Yeah, that’s not exactly my “comfort zone” way of approaching friendship.

Anyways the point is, most of the time I just wanted some peace and quiet and alone time. After a work week around people, I would go down to Connecticut to Brian’s sponsor family’s house where I was surrounded by a gazillion cadets, so I really had no interest in really making friends in Manchester. My limited time not working and not in Connecticut hanging out with everyone was either family time or ME time.

Ahh, I am rambling---back to seeking out human interaction in new places! I find myself now being exuberantly friendly to people such as the check out people at stores. I might be exaggerating if I were to say that I ask them, “Have you seen any interesting customers today?” or “How many bags have you bagged today?” or “You look really sad, would you like to have a heart to heart with me what is bothering you on this sunshiny day m’am.” No, I don’t do that even though deep down I would love to, but I have been known to question in an ultra peppy voice, “Helllllo!!! How are you today?” If they lead on to further conversation I graciously oblige. And guess what, now I actually care how the check out lady is doing. I really want to talk. I want that human dialogue. One reason, I like hearing something other then my ceiling fan and TV in our house. I also like simple conversations with people (break into song ::::GETTING TOOOO KNOWWW YOUU:::::)

I also truly admire anybody these days that is out there working to support themselves and/or their families. After feeling complete worthlessness in the last couple months of having the incapacity to be a financial supporter of our family, I have really come to appreciate anyone that puts forth such effort. You really don’t have to have a glamorous job to be worthy of appreciation.

Funny how this simple self exploration led me to the simple concept of everyday friendless to the people around me that I encounter. Hopefully I will think twice when I am gruff in my words and my actions ever again. We shall see how that work out. I tend to talk the talk more than walk the walk. (mental note :::work on that:::)