Our Sweet Boy

Today I feel pain but I am not in despair

My heart is sad but it is still full of joy

Saying goodbye to our sweet Sampson makes me think about those that lose loved ones so dear to them. I think of parents that endure the pain of losing a child, spouses that face the death of their partner, children that have to live without a parent. I have thought a lot about parents that see their kids through medical problems and sickness. My heart just breaks for that kind of worry and I cannot fathom that level of heart wrenching pain. I sit here thinking about how stinking bad my heart feels right now but I know it cannot compare to that which others experience. My sweet baby girl and husband bring me absolute joy. My life is full of so many blessings and though I feel sadness now I know that I am beyond fortunate. 

Nonetheless, we are going to miss that loveable pup of ours. He really was just the sweetest and goofiest boy. It is hard because part of me tries to convince myself that he was just a dog, but he really was such a big part of our family. It might seem crazy to some but he really helped us in our early days of marriage. He gave us something to focus on other than ourselves in those first two years of many hellos and goodbyes.  He kept me company during the many months that Brian was away and he made us feel like a true family when we are all together. Him giving us more of a sense of a family unit gave us the desire to expand our sweet family even further with a baby.

I am going to miss cuddling up with him; he was just the softest furriest fella ever. I will miss his big dramatic sighs, his absolute enthusiasm and friendless, his obsession with stuffed animals, his love and loyalty to us, his overly excited greetings at the door with toy in mouth, his “raise the roof” skills, and his ability to melt my heart with cuteness. We always joked that we thought Sampson had to be a human stuck in a dog’s body. Brian says he wishes he could live his life with characteristics of Sampson: friendly to everyone, loving, sweet, loyal, stoic, approachable, forgiving, admitting of wrong doings, funny, and the list goes on.

We will cherish all the wonderful memories with our first furry child. Going about my day there are so many things that remind me of him, some as silly as taking a shower and realizing he isn't going to find a way to push open the door and lay down next to the tub or eating a banana and realizing he isn't there waiting for the end piece (he was such a silly guy). I am sure we will be finding his fur here and there for the next ten years so it is pretty guaranteed he will always be on our minds. 

He was so sweet putting up with our attempts in the last two weeks to try to get him to make a recovery. Even though he looked sad and weak, he still would follow me all around the house making sure I was in good company. He never expressed his discomfort and pain beyond the uncontrollable signs of sickness. His passing was such a sad but peaceful moment. Such a stoic guy! 

I wish we could have had many more days and memories made with him. I wish he could of spent more time frolicking in the Virginia country, swimming in the lake, enjoying the pool at his grandma and grandpas, going for neighborhood walks, growing to enjoy his little baby sister, getting lots of head rubs, and much more. I am glad for the time we had with him. He pretty much was the best dog ever. I am so very thankful that he was a part of our lives and forever a part of our family. We will miss sweet Sampson and remember him always.