One year old!

Well, I fared pretty emotionally well on Hannah’s first birthday. I only shed tears on two occasions. The first few tears found their way while nursing my newly one year old before her birthday nap. I guess I really haven’t put too much thought into nursing; though we have had some struggles it has been a relatively straightforward journey. But here I was looking down at her, realizing that we have been doing this together for a whole year, and that to me is really special. I realized how truly grateful I am for our nursing relationship and all the quality time we have had together.

The second tears came really rolling when my no longer infant was having a mighty tough time going to sleep after all her birthday partying, cause ya know, it’s tough turning one. I could tell that the crying wasn’t going to stop on its own so I reluctantly went in to console her. Hannah isn’t typically a cuddly baby but there I was in her room rocking her to sleep without her even attempting to resist my embrace. Her sweet little head rested on my chest as she purred herself to sleep. While holding her warm body and breathing in that magical comforting smell that only babies possess, memories of her newborn days flooded my mind and emotions. I couldn’t hold back the tears as I prayed over her in that moment. It has been an incredible year and this precious daughter of ours has grown into an independent little girl so fast. Rocking her that night while she peacefully slept on my chest was one of the biggest gifts to my heart. 

So here we are, one year later. This year has filled my heart with more joy and love than I could have imagined. This little person in our life has transformed our household. I really didn’t know what expect when having a kid; I don’t think anyone ever does, whether it is their first or fifth. Sometimes I think we got off easy with this baby of ours; she really has been pretty stress-free. Most of our nights have been restful and most of our days have been happy. I don’t think we can take any parenting credit for that, neither of us are very patient on the whiny baby days. I worry that hypothetical future children are going to throw us for a complete loop after our first baby being pretty laid back. 

Hannah has however hit a bit of that meltdown stage. You would think the end of the world is coming by the way she sometimes acts in response to diaper changes and putting on clothes. This last month has really shown her independent side and is just more proof that she is in fact growing up and will require more guidance and discipline. She wants to be a part of all the action, always exploring and testing boundaries.  This month has been a bit of blur, between Brian and I being sick and being a bit cooped up with the negative degree cold and never ending snow. Winter after Christmas starts to become not so fun. The constant challenge of layering up, tracking in salt, and never quite feeling warm is becoming a bit of a drag. We still try to get out despite the freezing cold because we all find ourselves a bit stir crazy, especially Hannah.  She has been developing and changing like a madwoman these days. Every day it seems that she repeats a new word- we call her our little parrot. My favorite is when someone coughs, Hannah will fake cough back as if to mock them. She loves being a copycat! Some of her latest "words" and sounds include, Momma, Dadda, Uh-Oh!, nigh nigh (night night), Hiiii, Up (which has nothing to do with wanting up), Woosh (while throwing objects), Oooph (struggling), Mmmmm (to yummy food), Brrrrr! (she hears me say that a lot), Grrrr, and Hann-nah! I don't think she knows what all she is saying but she loves repeating after us. We can't get enough of that sweet little voice of hers.

Hannah had a pretty low key birthday celebration. Brian’s parents flew up for an extended weekend. Brian and I made her a giant banana applesauce cupcake. Despite my attempts to make it healthy (yes I am THAT mom), we resorted to some sugary icing that was easier for Brian to decorate with than the cream cheese and applesauce icing that I originally made. She shoved fistfuls of icing in her mouth as I cringed at the thought of all the sugar she was consuming, but alas we all survived. Hannah ended up stuffing her face full of the cupcake and got a little choked up. We gave her water to which she guzzled down too fast and got choked up even more. By then she was done with the whole first cake experience, which made me even more grateful that we didn’t do the whole all out first birthday party. The day was perfect just celebrating quietly together. 

It is fun to look back on all the monthly posts; I am glad it is something that I have done. I made a collage of her first four weeks and monthly pictures thereafter. Looking at that she still seems pretty little and I can see how her growing has slowed up a bit. At her one year appointment on Monday she was just 19 lbs 9 oz, just a little over doubling her birth weight of 8 lbs 15 oz. Some days I think she looks so huge while other days I amazed at how cute and little she is, especially her tiny little feet.

I can’t ever express how thankful I am for this year and it is impossible to put into words how much I love our daughter. More than anything in this world I hope that she grows up to be loving and kind and comes to know Jesus. Every day I am challenged by this, knowing that I need to be a better example. Motherhood has been a wonderful gift and responsibility. I know that there are many moments that I fail and there are those days I feel tired and defeated, but I am incredibly thankful for my little family and the fun we have together. It is hard to believe we practically have a toddler.  I don’t know how this last year flew by so fast, but I do know it was good to us. 

Well I think this one year post concludes my monthly Hannah posts and pictures. I am glad we have been able to stay connected with family and friends afar and that you all have been able to get a glimpse of Hannah growing but it feels a bit self-absorbed and silly to continue to write about every new tooth, pound gained, and newest developmental milestones. I do hope to continue to post occasionally some life happenings. This year plans to bring more change for our family so I will probably put updates on here. We are hoping to get news soon as to where we will be moving so I am sure that will give me something to write about. Though I know it is unlikely, I hope this next year can feel a little slower so we can take it all in a little better.

Until next time